Planning Your Wedding Part 2: Let's Talk About Music"

Planning Your Wedding Part 2: Let's Talk About Music

A post Created By DJ Tommy Mac & Edited by DJ Dollar Bill

One of the biggest concerns, hands down, of any couple on the wedding day is what music should be played.

I generally run into two types of couples: Those who have very specific ideas of what they want and enjoy musically, and those who really have no clue and need my help.

Here are some helpful tips and ideas for you in arranging the perfect selection of music for your special day.

(note: while I will specifically be talking about weddings in most of these posts, they can be applied to any type of event as well)

First and foremost: Music selected for your wedding should be FUN. A wedding day is all about celebrating the union of two people and the joy of celebrating with family and friends, and the music selected should reflect that.

While there are no hard, fast RULES to any of it, in general the music selected should be fun and upbeat, appropriate for all age ranges (IE clean, no vulgarity or crude, explicit language) and lend it self to the joy and celebratory mood of the entire day...and of course, part of that celebration includes DANCING, so there should be plenty of songs chosen which are great to dance to.

Music, as with many other things in life, is a very subjective thing: what one person LOVES, another person HATES.

Keep in mind that, at your wedding, you will have a large variety of people there: Friends, family, co-workers...and not all of them will have the same musical tastes you do.

My general suggestion to my couples when selecting music is: allow something for everyone, try not to limit your music choices to just ONE style or era. You may LOVE todays latest club tunes or hip hop tracks, but think about whether your family or friends will enjoy hearing that all night long.

As your DJ, my job is to find the happy medium between what you, my clients, want, and what will make all the guests attending your special day happy as well.

I’m often asked how I as the DJ select the music that I will play for any given party, and my answer is simple: It’s combining selections from three different sources:

1: My Bride & Groom: The Bride & Groom’s requests take priority and are the basis for what ever else I chose to play through out the evening. I base my choices not only on their selections, but also what they have told me they do NOT wish to have played.

2: Guest requests: I am more than happy to take requests from guests, and as long as they fall into the appropriate guidelines I play as many as possible. Appropriate guidelines for guest requests are:

A: They meet with my bride & grooms specifications, IE are not on the “Do Not Play” list.

B: Are appropriate for the crowd: Unless it’s already been cleared by the bride & groom, a guests request for heavy metal or hardcore rap will NOT be getting played. Also any songs in general that are just inappropriate for the day: Break up songs, depressing songs, or songs that are totally obscure that no one else has ever heard of, will generally not get played.

(there are exceptions to every rule: I Will Survive is one of the most popular “break up” songs of all time and is requested and played regularly at many weddings, for example.)

3: DJ Knowledge: As a DJ with 25 years of experience, I bring my own personal knowledge of what works best to get a crowd up, dancing and having fun, and use my client & guest requests along with that knowledge to fill in the gaps and make it all flow together.

I am more than happy to accept any song list requests from my couples, and encourage them to choose at least 10-20 songs they definitely want played. Leaves me wiggle room to feel out the crowd & take some guests request. (On a AVERAGE ONLY 10-15 songs are played in an hour) My job is that much easier when I don’t have to GUESS what my couples enjoy listening and dancing to.

So I refrain from long 50 song list, most events not that long & doesnt leave room for any requests or for me to play something that crowd will dance to (Classics Always work)

Ex. I had a couple wanted nothing but 80's music & provide ALL the music for dinner & dancing, (which I tried to talk them out of, but said it's YOUR day...your wish is my command...Musical Genie) 1/2 way through event they came to me & said no one's dancing. I advised them, they picked the music not me & to break the chains off & let me do what I DO. They said go ahead Dollar & I kept the dancefloor packed the rest of the night.

2nd Ex. A couple picked few songs that wasnt popular & it cleared my dance floor, I immediately faded out song & re-packed dancefloor. That comes with experience & bride's mother thanked me at the end for not letting entire song play.

That being said, if you find your list getting very long, I always suggest giving me a “Top 10” of your favorite songs that MUST be played, and then allowing me to chose and select the best cuts from the rest of your requests to fill out the party.

I also encourage the “Do Not Play” list; it is almost, if not as important, as your requests. Again it helps me to know in advance the types of songs or music you simply, under no circumstances, want to hear at your party, so that should a request for one come in I know how to handle it. (I'm your BLOCKER)

While I have suggested planning and choosing your music with your guests in mind, this does not mean you can not choose some of your favorite selections and artists to be played at your wedding that may not be considered “standard” wedding music.

I get plenty of couples that enjoy such music as rap, alternative rock, hard rock, country, etc. that would love to hear some songs from these types of groups but worry that they shouldn’t have them played because of how the crowd may react.

Again, that’s where I can step in and help, for instance:

Even some of the most “alternative” or “heavy metal” bands have at least ONE nice acoustic or piano ballad type song that may just fit in as a slow dance or at least something that can be played during dinner.

I’ve also encouraged hard rock fans to choose something from that genre for their introduction music.

Same with rap: While it can be tricky at times depending on the song, there is no reason why some of your favorites can’t get played at your wedding, even if it’s only you and your friends who may dance to it. Not EVERY song played HAS to get EVERYONE involved.

My usual suggestion for these types of things is to perhaps save them for later in the evening; many times the older guests will start to leave early or at least tire out and aren’t dancing as much, and that’s the best time to work in some of those “alternate” choices. I also always suggest that the bride & groom should make an effort to actually come out and dance to these songs to make it clear that this is something THEY enjoy and chose to have played at their wedding; if the guests see YOU out there on the floor enjoying it, perhaps they will rethink their stance on the music and loosen up enough to join you.

As I said earlier, there are no hard, fast RULES to what can and can NOT be played at a wedding; in the end it is up to you to make those choices.

Select what you like, be willing to compromise, take into consideration your guests, and most importantly have FUN with it...in the end, that’s what it’s all about.

After All It's "YOUR DAY" and a Celebration !!

Work FOREVER! (If you've worked in the past!)

There's a lot of time, money and energy invested in trying to capture new clients in the DJ world. There are an endless array of marketing options, seminars, workshops and videos that promise to show you how you can find clients and then sell them on your services. Many of these are fine strategies and well worth your time and investment. Some...well...not so much. However there is one really easy, highly effective and relatively inexpensive way to have future clients find you and enthusiastically book your services.



 So you wanna know what it is?
Your past clients.

Turn past clients into evangelists for your DJ service!

Yep...it's that simple.  There they are.  The folks who are best positioned to help you locate and sell future customers on your service are the folks who have experienced the value that you provide with your services!
Think about it....provided that you made your previous clients extremely happy...there is no one better positioned to promote your services.  Not even YOU!

Testimonials work.  Don't believe me?  Look at the success that WeddingWire.com has achieved in the heretofore completely Knot.com dominated wedding portal world.  What did WeddingWire do differently to come virtually out of nowhere and capture such a massive online market share?  It focused on reviews from real Brides & Grooms.  It allowed couples to read through reviews from other couples who had already taken the leap of faith with a particular vendor and get a glimpse into what their experience was.  The site has become one of the most dominant marketing placements for wedding services currently available.  Now as fantastic as WeddingWire is there's a more direct way to leverage this type of one on one, word of mouth referral power.

Earn it then Ask for it.

The goal is to exceed...not meet...expectations!

Uh huh.  That's how.  I know that appears to be really simple and honestly there is more to it than that.  It actually starts with something really basic but within the reach of every single DJ.  Actually caring about your clients and their events.  I mean genuinely seeking to understand what it is that your clients want from your services and from their event in general.   It starts by making yourself accessible to the client.  Make sure your clients know that you are ready and willing to work with them at every step along the way as they plan their event.  Be certain they have your email, phone numbers and understand that you WANT them to contact you with any thoughts questions or concerns.  THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!  It gives the clients a sense of ease when they know they can get in touch with you when they need to.  Answer emails and phone calls as quickly as you can (obviously you can't take calls during another event or during a meeting but you can get back to the customer and let them know what the delay was)  I find that offering my cell phone number and an invitation to text me is a quick and easy way to answer many of the simple inquiries that my clients will have.  Talk about a positive customer service experience! When you reply to a customers text message in real time...well service like that is rare...you know it from your own experience!

Exceed the expectations!
The easiest way to accomplish this is by asking a ton of questions.  Information is power and it's also the key to over delivering on every single clients expectations.  By having clients identify what they are trying to achieve through their events you can go point by point through ensuring that you do everything necessary in the planning and then during the event to not only meet those expectations but....and this is important...to exceed them.

The 3 "touches"

One strategy to employ at every event is what I call the 3 touches.  Three separate times during every event I locate the client, physically turn them around to get a view of their entire event (you can do this casually by coming along side them and then just pointing to the center of the room) and ask these specific questions..

So how are things going so far? 


Is this how you expected things to be going at this point?


Is there anything different that I could do to make the event better right now? 


Listen carefully to the answers and look for clues in the body language of the client that indicate the level of honesty that they are giving you with their responses.  Often times clients don't want to be insulting or have a desire to avoid potential confrontation during their events even when they are not satisfied with the way things are going.  You need to be aware that a simple "Everythings great" is not enough unless it is accompanied by a relaxed posture, a big smile and a relative ease that says that they have relaxed into enjoying their event.  If the client gives you feedback on ANY aspect of the party that is not to their liking take immediate steps to gain control of that situation and to turn it to the clients expectation.  Sometimes this has more to do with other services that are being provided on behalf of the client.  It could be ANYTHING.  Remember that the whole is always greater than the sum of the individual parts.  If one part is "broken" it can drag all the others down with it.  Find ways to address any situation to help deliver to your client the experience they were seeking for their event.  Do this at the beginning, toward the middle and about an hour before the end of the event.  Rephrase the questions so as not to become "annoying" and  take any steps necessary as indicated by the clients response to not only meet, but again I say, EXCEED their expectations. I also make sure to take anywhere from 1-3 photos at every event of the client having a good time. (We'll use these later so do not skip this step.  It pays huge dividends.  We're not talking spectacular photos...just snapshots...in fact I most often times just use my phone!)

Now that you're certain that you have a clear understanding of what the client wants to achieve and you've taken the time to confirm that you are making that vision a reality you have positioned yourself to leverage their fantastic experience with your DJ services into referrals by taking some very simple but highly effective steps to turning past clients into evangelists for you company.  In the next blog post I'll discuss the strategies employed to get your past clients to bring lots of  future client to your door!  Subscribe to make sure you don't miss this info!